December edition: Funny things they say

Dec 1
We were playing Spin the Dreidel and were using some chocolate 'coins from around the world' from Trader Joe's.  Leighton was excited to see a Loonie (Canadian one dollar coin for all of you who may not know!) because he was obsessed with his loonie and twonie (do I need to explain, or can you guess what this is?!?!) collection care of Grandma and Papa when he was a little guy.  A little while later he was looking for it in our piles but called it the 'swimming goose'.


Dec 1
Roy and the kids were doing some art and craft projects while I was getting dinner ready.  Riley was making a lion and Roy was helping her.  He asked her how many legs a lion has, and very confidently, she answered, "LOTS!"

Dec 1
Leighton and I were playing Monopoly, and I taught him that if you roll a pair of 1s it is called 'snake eyes'.  He kept calling it 'snakes eye' every time.


Dec 5
- I had recorded the Rockefeller Plaza tree lighting for the kids to watch the following day. While they were watching it, Leighton asked who the lady in the golden dress was.  I could tell by his voice that he liked her.  I had no idea who she was, so I checked and her name was Leona Lewis.  He told me (with a bit of a blush) that he liked her because of her golden dress and puffy hair like Riley.
- A little while later, I heard him say to Riley, "NO!  Not Vagina!  CHINA!  It's like a state.
- Then I hear him say to her, "WOW!  Look at their legs!  They moved them all at the same time.  The Rockette's are good, right?"


Dec 6
Leighton was calling Riley 'Mrs Miss Chief' and I asked why.  He said, "You know like those little books - Mr Messy, Little Miss Shy …. the ones from the library?  You know?"  I laughed and said, "It's usually pronounced 'mis-chiff' not 'miss-chief'."


Dec 7
Leighton was excited to tell us that the student teacher in his class had promised to tell them what her first name was on her last day and that since Friday was her last day she had told him (but not everyone else).  I asked what it was, and he said, "Falacia!"  Roy and I looked at each other, and I said, "I think maybe it's pronounced Felicia not Falacia."  He was very adamant though that it was 'Falacia'!


Dec 7
Riley (poking my neck): What are these?
Roy: Sinew
Riley (leans over to poke Roy's neck): What are these?
Roy: ligaments
Leighton (to Roy): How do you know so much?
Riley (jumps at Roy and grabs his cheeks): Because you expert!


Dec 8
Today at Costco, we were having some pizza and Riley was telling Roy she was doing something one more time or eating one more piece or something about the number one and then she held up her fingers to show him:

Dec 8
We were at Costco and I was grabbing the toilet paper, and Leighton was reading the package saying, "Bonus pack!" over and over again.  Riley says, "oooh, I love bonus packs!"

Dec 8
Out of nowhere, Riley says, "If we get stuck in the mud, a tow truck will get us out.  But Daddy, you no fit.  Too big."   So he asked her, "Why?" and she said, "Your tummy too big!"

Dec 8
I was complaining that I wished some lights weren't connected, and Leighton says, "Well wish on a star tonight."


Dec 8
The kids were watching the Rockefeller tree lighting with Roy to show it to him and I hear this when the Rockettes come on again:
Leighton: CHINA not vagina!
Roy: You think they are singing about vaginas?
Riley:  Yeah - singing about vaginas while they kick their legs up!


Dec 9
We were driving in the car today and Leighton decided to have two conversations with me simultaneously but I didn't quite catch on that we had moved on to the other one in time.
Leighton: Do you know how long it took to build that building?
Me: No, how long?
Leighton: 50 years.
Me: 50 years?
Leighton: Yeah, 50 years.  Now I'm done my apple.
Me: Are you sure?  How do you know that?
Leighton: Because it's skinny.  

Dec 12
Today Riley and I saw Santa as we were walking through the mall.  He was waving at her and she was FAR too shy to wave back.  As we were walking away, she told me she wished she was brave so she could go and kiss him.  I asked her a few times before we got to the car in case she changed her mind (I knew she wouldn't, but it was lunch time and I was trying to make sure I avoided and major freak out over it all due to hunger!!) but she really wasn't feeling brave enough.

Dec 12
After dinner, Riley and Leighton asked if they could have some of the candy from the piñata at Clementine's birthday party, and as they were eating their choices, Riley picked picked up the Tootsie Pop form Leighton's container and said, "Wow!  This one big.  It's 300!  But Leighton if you eat this, it's so nasty!"  Couldn't agree more kid, couldn't agree more!

Dec 12
Riley was singing to us after dinner and during the ABCs she sang, "… H I something …" and after we all finished laughing because all of it, not just that part, was pretty comical, Roy said to her, "That 'something' would be a J!"

Dec 13
I was in the shower and Riley, who has been opting to watch TV rather than bother me hang out with me while I shower lately, got SO excited, "Mommy there's your mouchie!  I love your mouchie!  I loved being a baby and drinking your mouchie!  I looooove mouchie!"

Dec 13
When I got out of the shower, Riley asked, "Are you going to vacuum your hair today, Mommy?"  I laughed and reminded her it's called blow drying not vacuuming!

Dec 14
After the bath tonight this conversation happened:
Roy: Riley leave Leighton's penis alone.
Riley: Daddy, me see your penis, too?
Roy: Um, no.
Me: (laughing and leaving the room before I pee my pants)
Leighton: (laughing)
Roy: (laughing)
Riley: If you eat a penis is it all spicy?
Me: (laughing hysterically)
Leighton: (laughing)
Roy: (laughing but still managing to somehow remain in the conversation)
Riley: Can you eat a butt?
Roy: Would you want to eat a butt?  Why?

Dec 15
We were on our way to a Sofia the First birthday party today, and the invitation had been addressed to Prince Leighton and Princess Riley, so as we were getting ready to go we had this conversation:
Me: Riley come back to the door, you have your shoes on.
Riley: I have to go see my prince.
Me: Your what?
Riley: My prince.  Leighton.
Leighton: It's what the invitation said.
Me: So, if you are the prince and Riley is the princess, I guess that makes me the queen!
Leighton: No.
Me: Why not?  I am the mother of the prince and the princess.  That means I am the queen.
Leighton: Yeah!  And then Daddy is the joker!
Me: You mean the king?
Leighton: No, I mean the joker.
Me: Well, prince and princess it is time to come back to the door to get in the car.
Riley: One second, Queen.
(10 minutes later in the car)
Me: Did you tell Daddy that I am the queen and who he is?
Leighton: The jester!
Me: I thought you said he's the joker?
Leighton: Nah.  I remembered now and he's the jester.

Dec 23
We were driving beside a Coke truck and Leighton was reading it and called it 'coco cola' and I laughed and told him it was 'cocA cola' and then he called is 'caca cola'.  Eventually he had it all sorted out and was calling it 'Coca Cola'.

Dec 23
There was a Christmas song on the radio, and Leighton asked me, "Do you know who the man is singing this?  Is it Babyface?"  I had to tell him in was not.  It was Elvis!

Dec 23
We were waiting for our car to come out of the car wash, and Leighton saw the sign across the road at the BBQ restaurant …
Leighton: Ha ha ha they have mosquito smoked turkey!
Me: It is mesquite not mosquito!
Leighton: Then why are there are those tiny black things all over it in the picture?
Me: I think those are just the nails holding up the sign.
Leighton: No.  Look all over the turkey.  There are black things all over it.  They're mosquitos.
Me: I think that's just pepper.

Dec 23
Leighton: Look at that restaurant!  It's called SEWERS!  Ha hahahaha.
Me: Skewers, Leighton, not sewers.

Dec 23
We were talking about the different Christmas displays in people's yards and were reminiscing about when we lived in the Bronx and Leighton would shout out, "Look another baby Jesus!"  And then Roy was laughing (not AT baby Jesus, but about something else) and Leighton says to him, "It's not nice to laugh.  Not only because it's not nice to laugh at a person, but you also don't want to insult the person who plans Christmas. He made Christmas come alive."

Dec 24
We were talking about animals and dogs and cats, and Riley said, "And what does a meow say?"

Dec 26
We were driving past many field of cows and Riley started calling them 'Moo-ey cows' just like she calls cats 'meows'.

Dec 26
We were out at the ranch and some of the men and teenage boys were skeet shooting.  Leighton asked what the sound was, but after a while, Riley asked what the music was!  Such a Bronx city girl ;)

Dec 27
We were driving in the car and Riley said the word 'mew-nit' and after Roy was trying to figure out what she was saying, I finally asked her if it was a word she made up.  Indeed it was!  She told us it was a unit to measure with.  A 'munit'!  Now - the girl knows almost nothing about measurement and units, so it was pretty darn cute!

Dec 29
We had just had Clementine and her family over for a play date and saw Laila the day before and Winter the two days before that, and Leighton said, "You know what Winter told me?  Or wait.  Maybe it was Laila.  Yeah.  You know what Laila told me?"  I laughed and told him it must be hard to keep track of all the ladies in his life!