The funny things they say: July edition

July 4
Leighton: Did you have an email when you were little?
Me: No.  There was no such thing as email when I was little.  I didn't have email until right when I was finishing high school.
Leighton: NO email?  And no cell phones?  How did you communicate?!?!
Me: We wrote letters.  And we had regular phones.
Leighton: Regular phones?  What's that?
Me: Like the one in the kitchen.  But with a cord.
Leighton.  Whoa.

July 4
Leighton: Can we make s'mores at Grandma and Papa's?
Riley: Does that mean Bigfoot will come?
Leighton: No!  We aren't camping.  Bigfoot only comes when you are camping in the jungle.

July 6
Roy: What are you eating
Leighton: A Tootsie Roll candy
Roy: I know a song called Tootsie Roll.  It's not about the candy.
Leighton: Maybe it's about your feet/toes rolling.  Like this (as he proceeds to 'roll' his toes).

July 6
We were watching the Wimbledon finals and Leighton and I were talking about the players' names and Riley says, "Where is Djok-a-bitch?"  Roy and I laughed but tried not to let on that she was saying something funny.  She continued saying it that way though even when Leighton tried to correct her.  "Go Djok-a-bitch!" … "Did Djok-a-bitch make a point?" … "I'm going for Djok-a-bitch?"

July 6
Today the kids were playing with some bracelets and Riley put hers on her ankle.  I told them it was called an anklet if you have a bracelet on your ankle.  We then went through the names for what it would be called on various other parts of the body (necklace, choker, headband, bracelet, etc) and then Leighton put his across his chest and asked if it would be called a 'niplet' there!

July 6
We were talking about the names of the 3 teachers Riley will have in school, and as I listed them, she interrupted and said "Mrs Attitude" and I laughed and told her that would be HER not her teacher!

July 10
We were watching the tortoises at the zoo and one was sleeping, so Leighton said it should be called/named SNORTUS!

July 13
Riley got a deck of cards in a goodie bag at a birthday party.  She was going through them and was calling out what she thought they were named as she sorted them out.  She kept saying, "puff, puff, puff" as she puts cards to the side.  I took a closer look and realized she was calling the clubs 'puffs' :)

July 15
Leighton made up this joke:
Q What do you call a peanut that is acting crazy?
A Nuts!

July 15
Roy and Leighton were looking at a little globe and asking each other questions.  At some point I heard Roy saying something about what would happen if you combine Turkey and Chile (obviously their  quiz game had moved on from the more serious questions like, "What is the largest country in South America?").  I joined in by asking what other countries/cities/places had food names and thought of brussel sprouts for Brussels.  Then I figured you could eat your turkey chili and brussel sprouts on China (at this point Riley, not surprisingly, asked why you'd eat food off her 'gina … no, Riley, China NOT vagina …).  And then Roy came up with what he thought was the most clever idea of all.  He suggested we could call Sudan 'suds' for potatoes.  Cue the crickets chirping while Roy tries to tell Leighton that 'suds' is a nickname for potatoes …. yeah, not so much, Roy!  Suds = soap and spuds = potatoes.  We all had a really good laugh.

July 16
We were driving home from getting milkshakes when I noticed a very strong smell of marijuana in the air.  Almost immediately after I smelled it, Riley pipes up in the back with, "Eeeeeeeeew.  What is that stinky smell?"

July 16
We were on the way to the bank machine and Leighton asked how much money was in his account.  He was excited by the answer of how many things he could buy.  We reminded him it was there to buy himself an education.  This was the rest of the conversation:
Leighton: Does everyone have to go to college?
Roy: In our family they do.
Riley: Uuugggggghhhhhhhh.
Now, the girl has no idea what school or college or any of that is.  But, it was very fitting because she is pretty resistant to learning anything at this stage of the game!!!

July 17
Riley asked Roy, "When I am an adult, will I be an adult the whole day?"

July 17
Riley was pretending to put on a circus show and called Roy her 'helpunteer' - once I heard it the second time, I realized what she was saying and told her that he would be a 'volunteer' and he would 'help' her.  But I think the term 'helpunteer' might be a keeper around here!

July 19
I took Leighton to the pharmacy at Target and he saw all the prescription bags in the alphabetical order baskets and said, "Cool!  I didn't know they did holds here!"  Apparently we are a little addicted to holds at the libraries!!!

July 19
Riley saw a silverfish (a common bug here) under something and calls out, "There's a baby silvercrabfish … baby crabfish … crab bug here."

July 22
Today Riley wanted to play a game where we feed the chickens.  So she started tossing around plastic Easter eggs calling, "Here chickens.  Here chicky-chickens."  I loved that she was feeding eggs to chickens.

July 23
Leighton had an allergic reaction to a bug bite and had some hives and swelling on his face and neck so we gave him some Benadryl.  He was commenting on how gross it tasted (usually we give them the chewable ones but I had liquid this time that we had grabbed at Target on the weekend for another ailment he had), and I said, "I know.  I don't blame you." He replied, "I know.  I blame Target."

July 24
Leighton made up another joke:
Q: What do you call a person in a bag?
A: A purse-in!

July 26
As we were driving to my parents', we went through a construction zone.  At the end there was a road sign in nice cursive writing that said, "Thank you, resume speed" and I had to laugh at just how polite that Canadian road sign was.  I don't think we have those here!

July 27
We were at the lake trying to catch minnows and Riley kept calling them MOONOS.

July 28
We were at the lake again, and Riley kept talking about catching DYNAMOS.  She meant minnows!

July 29
We saw a bear right on the edge of the yard at my parents' and Leighton says to my Dad, "Papa, are you going to grill it?"

July 30
We walked down from a little drive in restaurant to walk back to our car along the lake instead of on the sidewalk of the main road.  When we got down the steps, a very hot and tired Riley exclaimed, "Ughhhhh this is so so so so BORING."  A man walking by laughed and said he'd heard that before.  We all laughed.  As soon as she realized there were pretty pink flowers along the way, it was no longer the most boring walk ever.  Oh, boy - what will she be like as a teenager?!?!?

July 31
We were planning for our s'mores fire and Riley kept calling them snores.

July 31
My Mom said something about a meteor shower, and Riley says in a very grown up way, "Oh, do they have meteor showers here?"  I said to her, "What do you know about meteor showers?"  And she said, "From Peppa Pig."